So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
