Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
