I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
