No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
