You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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