I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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