Plan B is the new Plan A
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
