Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
