I am spending my child support on dildos
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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