If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
