Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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