You work out of a Hotel?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
