I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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