we're blogging at a bar
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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