and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
