1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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