i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
