Joe is yelling at the trees again.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
