HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
