is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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