Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
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So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
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HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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