Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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