oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
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I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
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I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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