I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
