I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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