Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
