Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
