I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
