Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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