Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
