I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
no. you can't hotbox the world.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
