What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
50% drunk capacity currently
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
