he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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