Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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