She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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