And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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