im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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