i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize