You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
