he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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