she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
