she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
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Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
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I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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