Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize