a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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