i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
