I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
being pregnant is like rehab
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
