Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
