No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize