Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
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