i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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