Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
