you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
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and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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