just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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