im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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