he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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