Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize