so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
